MUET essay writing Band 5 model answer and feedback
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The world today is turning more to electronic communications such as the e-mail, Facebook and Short Message System (SMS). What is your opinion of this growing trend? Discuss. You should write at least 350 words.
As time goes by, the world is changing rapidly; so are its people and the technology itself. Technology brings about a lot of amendments in people’s life. It is getting more advanced from day to day especially when it comes to Information Technology or in this case; electronic communications. Back then, mailing was seemingly to be one of the most vital ways of communication especially for the world communication. In contrast, nowadays people are more prone to communicate the easier ways; by staring on their electronic accounts on their computers or through their iPods and sending short messages from their iPhones or Blackberries. Why is it so? In my slight opinion, this growing trend gives a lot of dominances in today’s life, which are helping people to save their time and money, create borderless communication and make it easy for people to gain prominent information.
The student introduces technology as a whole, looking at its history, from how it has grown from a simple form of communication through letters to today’s extensive choice of communication through electronic gadgets. This is a great way to start your introduction. Based on the question, explain what the issue is and give a brief background of its past and present. State your opinion as to why such situation arises.
First and foremost, the world today is turning more to electronic communications like e-mail, Facebook and Short Message System (SMS) and other electronic communications is because they will prevent people from wasting their time and money. How do these work? As we all know, sending a letter to someone will take a lot of processes and will eventually take a long time and waste a lot of money. On the contrary, electronic communications entail only the tip of our fingers so as an electronic device to work with. Then, what is left for us to do is just, typing! Has that not taken a much lesser time and money? For instance, an e-mail only requires us to turn on our laptops, open our accounts on the website and then, you can start write your letter and send them through e-mails. In short, with the very unstable economy nowadays, having these kinds of communications will ease everyone’s burden especially on their daily expenses and also their valuable time will not be wasted.
State, Explain and then Illustrate. Remember SEI. First, state the topic that’s been mentioned. In this case, it’s the rise of electronic communications. Then explain. Explain what electronic communications entail. Next, illustrate. This means give examples based on your explanation. The student illustrates by giving a scenario of the use of emails.
Secondly, the growing trend of electronic communications is making it possible for a borderless communication which is vital these days. Why is it vital? A lot of things require borderless communication; in education field, businesses and even daily activities, especially when foreigners involved. For example, when trading with foreigners, in order to communicate with each other, they need Skype or Yahoo Messenger as mediums to interact and be able to do the trade at a faster rate as compared to by using ‘snail mails’ or regular letters. Skype is the perfect example of an electronic communication which will cut the boundary that has separated each country and make communication between two different countries from around the world possible. In conclusion, it is crucial to have these electronic communications in today’s age of globalization as they make it easier for people around the world to connect with each other.
Structure your subsequent paragraphs like the first one. Add a new point in the second paragraph and repeat the SEI format. It’s important to have a mind map of your points before you start writing.
Last but not least, the dominance of these electronic communications is people could gain prominent information more efficiently than before. As there are lesser borders between countries, the efficiency of getting much more relevant and prominent information is higher. People will have the ability to provide and gain information effectively through Facebook or Twitter accounts. For example, international artists who have planned to do a world concert can inform their fans about it through their Facebook account. Likewise, the fans also can ask just about anything to their favourite artists regarding the concert. Hence, this explains why people make these electronic communications as a huge trend these days and in order to keep the trend ongoing, each person has the responsibility to adapt with the technology itself.
In a nutshell, the growing trend of using electronic communications is inevitably vital in people’s lives as it gives out a lot of benefits as stated in above paragraphs. So, to avoid ourselves from not getting the chance of keeping up with the changing trends, we have to try our best to adapt ourselves with the rapid changes. I believe that the electronic communication trend is a trend which is very important to be followed as the world is getting more advanced day to day.
To indicate that your essay is coming to an end, use words like ‘in conclusion, in a nutshell, in short or to wrap up. Summarise your opinion based on all your previous paragraphs and emphasise your point through words like ‘I believe’.
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An aspiring journalist with a passion for investigative journalistic work. Also a self-declared masterchef.